Naughty Bits #2

What up, bitches? It's your self-proclaimed Naughty Nerd and Tin Woodman yandere. It's been pretty busy this month and most of it has been Oz-related. One of those things is coming up with Oz-themed memes for the OzCon 2019 Facebook page. Keep an eye out every Friday on Facebook for one of my latest memes you won't see on my blog!

Now I promised the con organizers that I would keep the ones for the OzCon page clean. With that being said, I still came up with ones that were definitely PG-13. So...I put them here. For your guilty pleasure, here are some naughty bits!

This happens at OzCon between the hours of 1AM and 3AM. What happens at con, stays at con.

Seriously, who else sees Tik-Tok trapped in the well and instantly thinks of the scene from "Silence of the Lambs"? No one, just me? Fine.

It's a spin on the Julie Andrews meme that was circulating in 2017. I knew I'd eventually find a Reilly illustration that would fit the phrase.

Look at him. He's like: I'm fucked, but I've accepted it. That speaks to me on a spiritual level. It really does.

Have a great week, you amazing fuckers! Be smart, be kind, be brave, and be awesome!

Review: Finding Dorothy by Elizabeth Letts

Last month, a new book was released in stores that has Oz fans abuzz with excitement. On all the Oz-related pages I follow on Facebook, I have been seeing excited fans talking about "Finding Dorothy" by Elizabeth Letts. The novel follows Maud Baum, the widow of L. Frank Baum as she strives to protect her husband's legacy as she observes the progress of MGM's latest project: The Wizard of Oz. She faces the problems that were common to women in 1938 Hollywood as she debates with directors and executives, watch scenes be filmed, and befriend a young Judy Garland. In between chapters about 77 year old Maud, we read about milestones in her life and the people who shaped her, including her suffragette mother, Matilda Gage, and her head-in-the-clouds husband, Frank.

Before I go into analysis, I'm just gonna nerd out a bit here. Chapter seven tells of when Maud first met her future husband at a Christmas party during winter break from college. IT IS THE MOST FUCKING ADORABLE MEET-CUTE IN THE HISTORY OF MEET-CUTES!!!!!!! What makes it even better is that it actually happened. From Frank's aunt introducing them, to Frank's killer pick-up line, to their long conversation ending in promises to meet again, it was so. Fucking. Cute!!!!!  I want someone with artistic talent to turn this scene into a graphic short story (as in graphic novel but a short story), like, yesterday. By the end of that chapter, my mind was racing: "I want to ship them so bad! Can you ship a nonfictional couple? I need to know because I ship them!"

Then there's chapter 12 where it describes the beginning of their marriage and talks about Maud jumping his bones every night. It makes me want to build a time machine just so I could go back and high-five both of them. "Yeah, get some!" But all that aside, the love story of Frank and Maud is a constant subject that is prevalent throughout the book as the readers witness the the ups and downs of their marriage.

Now, back to more serious (-ish) book talk. The book opens to Maud trying to gain entrance to the MGM studio lot and then to the office of Louis B Mayer, head of the studio, for an appointment. But since she's not an executive or a celebrity, she is denied entrance every step of the way and has to fight to see the great and terrible studio head. The first chapter serves as a reflection of Dorothy's first visit to the Emerald City and the multiple times she's barred from seeing the Wizard. Even Maud's walk to the "White Lung" as she passes costumed actors and dancers is reminiscent to Dorothy's first glimpses of Emerald City's citizens as she approaches the Emerald Palace. Referring to the administration offices as "the White Lung" is no coincidence, either, as Maud later debates with scenery painters that the Emerald City isn't green, but white (made to look green through tinted glasses). This use of reflection, as well as foil, is used a lot throughout the book.

Chapters switch back and forth between 1938 and important years in Maud's life. The firs thing that impressed me about this novel is the amount of research and historical accuracy that was put into it. I don't have anywhere near the level of expertise on the life of L. Frank Baum or the MGM movie as many people I know through the Oz fandom and the International Wizard of Oz Club, but I have learned a lot from them and am familiar enough to point out the more well-known facts an a handful of lesser known. We learn a lot about Matilda Gage, a real-life activist for women's suffrage, and how she acted as a major influence not only to Maud, but to Frank, a suffrage supporter and feminist in his own right (that's right, men can be feminists, too).

Themes of equality and consent play a large role in "Finding Dorothy" as Maud becomes protective of Judy Garland who becomes easy prey to pervy executives and even finds allies in Mayer's secretary and Yip Harburg. A chapter where Maud is assaulted by her sister's drunken fiancee is reflected later on when she helps out a crying Judy after she is assaulted in a similar manner by Arthur Freed, a lyricist and producer for the film. In the first situation, she was too scared to say anything in fear of hurting her sister, but at age 77, she's a hell of a lot wiser and tells Judy how to get these creeps to fuck off (not in those words, but a hat pin is involved). Even readers who aren't die-hard fans of Oz can admire the message that this sends, especially in these times where we have concepts such as the #metoo movement.

We also see reflections of the girls that Maud tried to protect in her life. She considered the worst day of her life when she couldn't save her niece from a life of neglect and poverty, the same niece who called her Aunt M. It's a heart-wretching moment in the book that made me cry and I had to stop reading (it could've been that the CBD I took earlier that night may have exacerbated my emotional response but seeing that I'm tearing up right now at the goddamned memory, maybe not). God-fucking-dammit, why must this book make me feel things! In 1938, Maud takes this experience and not only insists that Dorothy say anything but "Take me to Aunt Em" when she taps her heels, but also becomes motivated to protect Judy from her overbearing stage mother, a demanding Victor Fleming, and a misogynist Mayer. She also takes this as a way to honor her husband whose first priority was to protect children.

In addition to these reflections to times in her life that shape her present, we also see how Judy serves as a foil to Maud. Judy is depicted as a young, naive girl who depends completely on those around her, especially her overbearing stage mom. It gets cringe-y at times when Judy explains to Maud how her mother tells her to do whatever the producers and executives say, even if it means letting them feel her up, as long as it makes her a star. Maud is just as appalled as the reader, if not more, given that her own mother once fought for the rights of women. However, there are many instances in throughout the novel where we observe Matilda grooming her Maud for a certain type of life; not as a performer, but as an independent, college educated woman and speaks of "her diploma" like its some sort of Holy Grail (though in that century, it was for women). There is also the instances where Maud uses the lessons learned from her life to protect Judy from preying men and cheat on her diet of cigarettes and diet pills. The worldly, wise woman-like Maud is a stark contrast to the innocent, day-dreamy Judy.

By the end, we see Maud get her wish; and just like the characters in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz it's not in the way she expected. She came to MGM to ensure that the movie remained true to its source material (every nerd's dream) and keep her late husband's legacy intact but because she had no power over screenwriters or directors, she couldn't control that, but she preserve his legacy in the sense that children and women are given equal voices to men. She encourages Judy to raise her voice so that she isn't controlled by others in Hollywood like the ones who force feed her pills and cigarettes and treat her like an underage sex doll. She holds up Frank's beliefs that children should come first and her own mother's beliefs that women should be given equal standing to men. By the end, all her hard work is paid off when she sees Frank's name on the screen at the premiere of the movie under "From the book by".

The book is layered with meanings, themes, and fact and fiction that intertwine to make a beautiful narrative that speaks to us about love, loss, independence, and magic. Whether you are as obsessed with Wizard of Oz as I am or are a fan of historical fiction, or just like a well-written story, I highly recommend this book to anyone.

Finding Dorothy by Elizabeth Letts is available on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. Seriously, read this book. Right now!

"Return to Oz" is NOT Scary

I've been seeing a lot of posts on Facebook from various nerd/pop culture pages and the same topic keeps popping up all the time: lists of terrifying scenes from "Return to Oz". Most Oz fans are familiar with this 1985 live action film from Disney; intended to be a quasi-sequel to the 1939 movie, "Return to Oz" is a Frankenstein combination of L. Frank Baum's next two books in the Oz series, "The Marvelous Land of Oz" and "Ozma of Oz".

These lists have been featured on Buzz Feed and Ranker, granted not the most reliable sites for information, but have heavy traffic flows for click-bait readers. These two pages and others are listed at the end of this post. On Facebook, you often come across comments agreeing with these lists including:

Even after 34 years, this less-than-popular is disturbing audiences. But I say to those people who say that "Return to Oz" traumatized them, I say this to you:

It's not an Oz meme, but it gets my point across. I have even seen these articles on Oz fan pages on Facebook and have been wanting to share this sentiment but that would get in trouble because "swearing isn't allowed". Well, fuck them because I'm putting it here. So here are my reasons why "Return to Oz" ISN'T scary and these whiners are just a bunch of pussies.

The Asylum and Dorothy's Near Drowning

A lot of these articles talk about the scenes where Dorothy's Aunt Em has her committed to an insane asylum to undergo electroshock therapy and in her attempt to escape (with the help of plot hole-creating Ozma) she almost drowns in a flooded river during a storm before waking up just on the border of Oz.

People freak out because of the danger Dorothy is put in and how she is about to be strapped to a table and have her brain fried all because her aunt and uncle think she's crazy. Then they lose their shit because Dorothy's life is in danger because of the flood. First of all, this used to be a super common treatment in mental hospitals. Does that make it any better or less scary, no. Though in some ways, it's probably better than a lobotomy. They used to drill a hole in patients' heads, stick a small tool through the hole, and blindly cut away at brain matter until a piece was severed off (not kidding; the guy who invented this method won a Nobel Prize for it). Second, this isn't the first, or last, time a child's life has been in danger in a children's movie. In the 1939 movie, the Wicked Witch threatens Dorothy's life more than once and there's that whole scene with the hourglass and "when the sand runs out, so will your life" thing went on. So, drowning wasn't the first time Dorothy has been in a life or death situation in a film. You also have example from various movies where children almost die like the drowning scene in "Kubo and the Two Strings" or when Eggs is almost strangled in "The Box Trolls"; and of course there's the Harry Potter series of movies where Harry almost dies every other 30 minutes and where multiple people, including children die at the hands of the villains. And yet, no one bats an eye. Every protagonist needs to face some sort of danger or else there are no stakes and the story isn't as exciting. So get over it.

Princess Mombi, the Wheelers, and the Nome King

Then there's the whole thing with Mombi and her heads. The movie merges the characters of Princess Langwidere and Mombi together to create a villain named Princess Mombi, a witch who can switch out her heads. How the hell can anyone think this is scary? If anything, it's kinda cool. Plus the whole scene where Dorothy wakes up her original head and makes the rest start to call out her name in a haunting manner is a pretty impressive scene. I'm thinking more "Oh man, she's busted" than "Oh shit, talking heads! I'm still surprised  even though I already knew Mombi had these things!"

There's also the matter of the Wheelers. These four, long-legged homunculi with wheels for hands and feet are seen as terrifying for the masks they wear and the way they chase Dorothy around the Emerald City. But here's something most people forget: THE WHEELERS ARE GIANT PUSSIES! Once Dorothy meets Tik-Tok and he easily subdues the Wheelers and even forces one to take him and Dorothy to Mombi. Then there's the fact that they aren't that scary looking. This movie was made in the 80s and this is especially evident in the design of these creatures. Quite frankly, it looks like a guy in a neon jacket and roller skates got high on cocaine and then fucked a Delorean in its exhaust pipe and then the Delorean gave birth to a litter of the Wheelers (assuming Deloreans have litters as opposed to single births like humans). Seriously, if you have a metal bucket, you can take down a flock (Herd?) of Wheelers.

Last of the bad guys, there's the Nome King. He is produced with a mixture of stop-motion claymation and an actor in makeup. "Oh, he's too terrifying!" "Look at how scary he is!" No matter what incarnation the Nome King has taken in books or movies, he has never been described as the type of villain who is handsome and charming. Sorry he isn't a sparkly vampire (not sorry). By this point, Dorothy and her band of friends have faced a lot of dangerous situations and they are now facing the final boss. If you are still shocked that she is still at risk of losing her life, that's on you. Also, in an era where Jeff the Killer, Slender Man, and that one latest trend of the weird-ass Photo-shopped girl's face are floating around the internet for all to see, it's really hard to believe that anyone would find the Nome King to be a scary monster.

Jack Pumpkinhead

There are a lot of other points I could discuss like about Tik-Tok and the Gump and bitch about how people also think they are scary-looking (seriously, suck it up, you little bitches). But there is one more point I feel I have to bring up because it is a matter close to my heart. It seems a number of viewers and articles bring up how Jack Pumpkinhead is a terrifying monster. One of the articles even said this about Jack:

"Even if you were a fan of the L. Frank Baum books as a child you couldn't have been prepared for the lanky, spider-esque gait and pedophilic voice of the giant dum-dum pumpkin man." (Ranker.com)

To the person who wrote this quote: fuck you and I hate you. Jack Pumpkinhead is a precious cinnamon roll and yes he is lanky and clumsy by you would be, too, if you were made of old branches. He isn't stupid, he has the mind of a child. And that brings us to the last point. Many have described Jack as creepy because he asks Dorothy if he can call her "Mom" until he can find his real mom, meaning the person who created him. Clearly, these are people who have never seen movies or shows where a woman gives birth to a demon and it calls her "Mama". Now that's creepy! Beside, I would happily be Jack's mom if that position is open, he is a smol bean and I will destroy anyone who tries to hurt him.

Look at that sweet face!

Stop being a Pussy

I'll be honest, I'm a bit desensitized. Not only am I dead inside as a human being, but I also listen to horror stories at work A LOT. I have even laughed during a couple (ones that weren't meant to be funny, I was laughing at the mere stupidity of them). So maybe I'm a bit biased and may not find this movie scary because I'm also a bit creepy myself. I can definitely be off-putting to some people (and it can be quite hilarious at times). But I also have a history of being a giant pussy myself. I was afraid of the dark until a few years ago because I stopped caring (go ahead and take me, demons, I'm done with this shit), I don't trust dolls or clowns, and crowds scare me more than ghost stories. With that being said, there is WAY scarier shit out there than "Return to Oz". It's a kid's movie, for fucks sake. If you think this movie is creepy, I recommend that you see more movies or go back and review the Oz books. Those can get downright dark (it's part of why I love them).

Please share your opinions or thoughts in the comments. I'd love to hear what you'd have to say about "Return to Oz". It goes without saying that opposing arguments are welcome.

Here are links to the articles, some in list form, others that are more like critiques, of nerd sites and other not-particularly newsworthy sites, but still may get a bit of attention from readers:
https://www.ranker.com/list/why-return-to-oz-disney-movie-traumatized-kids/jacob-shelton
https://www.buzzfeed.com/briangalindo/the-11-most-traumatizing-moments-from-return-to-oz
https://nerdist.com/article/5-scariest-scenes-return-to-oz-fairuza-balk/
http://www.audienceseverywhere.net/still-scary-return-oz/
https://uproxx.com/hitfix/return-to-oz-turns-30-a-loving-tribute-to-the-scariest-childrens-movie-of-all-time/
https://www.denofgeek.com/us/movies/return-to-oz/17676/return-to-oz-a-disturbing-80s-fantasy-classic
http://www.mtv.com/news/2191352/return-to-oz-terrifying/

Naughty Bits

What up, bitches? Over the week, I come across some snippets of inappropriate Oz humor (some of the best, in my humble opinion), so here is what I have decided to call "Naughty Bits" that I've stumbled upon in the past few weeks.

This bit is a from the show "Teachers" on TV Land. This character has been thrown Oz-themed taunts in the past but here she offers a new pick-up line for the horny Oz fan.

Some of you may have already seen this on my Facebook page but I had to share it again. I was searching for...specific things on Etsy and this sprung up (pun somewhat intended). It's a handmade charm for jewelry and if the charm itself wasn't funny enough, the price of it is $69. However, given that I bought my actual vibrator for less than that, I didn't buy it. Besides, mine actually vibrates (and if you're wondering, I did name it and I call him Little Nick 😉).

Finally, I'll finish you off with some memes! Because while there are more than plenty of memes on the Internet, there is a dire deficit of Oz ones!

It's the rift that tears our fandom apart (that and the purists vs. everyone else).

It's an old joke at this point, but we all know it's true.

Don't pretend you don't know.😉

Open for Reviews!

Do you have an Oz-related book, graphic novel, or piece you want reviewed or shared? Please contact me through the comments or Facebook message me! I love all things Oz and I love reading free books in exchange for reviews. If you don't mind getting a little naughty, contact me!

Review: NE By NW OZ, a Storytelling Game by Ron Baxley Jr.

Ron Baxley Jr., accomplished author and proud Corgi Papa, has added game writer to his creative repertoire with the addition of his storytelling game, NE by NW OZ. The author of OZ Diggs Himself Out (YBR Publishing) and other books is offering the chance to readers and game-lovers the choice to become a good witch or a bad witch (or good wizard or bad wizard) in the most unexpected way possible.

In this game, the reader/player begins as a resident in the Quadling Country. There is word that the Winkie and Munchkin Countries have open vacancies for new witches, specifically, Witches of the Northwest and the Northeast (and maybe even wizards in a different twist). The player’s aim is to make choices that will steer them in one compass direction or the other and then decide whether to become good or wicked (or some percentage of the two).

Not only does this story stand out because of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” style of telling, but Baxley adds a unique spin to the land of Oz by transforming Wizard of Oz into a crossover with Alfred Hitchcock’s films. As the reader/player progresses, they come across familiar Oz characters and references to Hitchcock films. The name of the game itself is a reference to the classic film, "North by Northwest"; and as you play, you may encounter references to "The Birds", "Psycho", and "Vertigo" to name a few. I had the pleasure of playing the game myself, and in the progress of becoming the new Good Witch of the Northwest, I met the Tin Woodman, stumbled upon a Bates-esque Motel, and conquered a very “psycho” villain. But before you scream out “SPOILER ALERT!”, fear not because the path you choose may be entirely different depending on your choices. Baxley has written enough choices for you to select that you can play over and over again and not play the same game twice.

NE By NW OZ is an engaging game with a great story that doesn’t always tell the same way twice in a row. How many books can say that? It is available as an app on Google Play and on the Hosted Games section of the Choice of Games web-site.

Click on this link to get the game:
https://www.choiceofgames.com/user-contributed/ne-by-nw-oz/

OzCon '19 Program Book Call for Submissions

'Sup, nerds? I'm too sick to post anything but I wanted to share this.

OzCon 2019 is now accepting submissions for this year's program book. We're talking essays, personal correspondences, and kickass art!

To submit your work or ask questions, contact the email below. See you all at OzCon '19!

The Alignments of Oz

For you nerds (including myself) who have ever played Dungeons and Dragons, you may be familiar with the Alignment System. This is a system that determines a character's identity as good, evil, or neutral based on their attitudes and sense of morality. It also makes a fun tool to describe characters in fandoms and has been used (typically as a joke or gag) to describe the personalities of characters. Being chaotic good myself, I decided to take it upon myself to do this for a handful of the Oz characters. Check it!

Lawful Good: I classified the love of my life as lawful good based on his consistent attitude towards others. He often talks about how all living things need to be loved and treated with kindness and he practices what he preaches. Even though he is adept at using his ax as a tool and a weapon, he rarely uses it in a fight and when he does, it's to defend others. He values kindness and compassion as well as being honest with everyone, which makes him a perfect fit in this category. Those are also some of the qualities that I love most about him. Those and his ability to treat a lady well.😉

Neutral Good: What makes Glinda the Good neutral good is the fact that while she is powerful enough to run the show herself, she prefers to stand back and act as an advisor and mentor to Princess Ozma. She is rarely seen in the books, despite how much her freakin' powers would come in handy in a multitude of situations. She chooses to do good without bias and while she is officially a subject under Princess Ozma, she is still very independent and kinda does her own thing.

Chaotic Good: I'm sure I'm gonna get grief over this, but hear me out. I decided that the Scarecrow is chaotic good because while he sides with the good guys, he kinda does whatever the hell he wants. Like those of his alignment, he doesn't like bullies and tries to stand against up against them. He is a philosopher in his own right so he knows what his values are and how to uphold them.

Lawful Neutral: As the queen of Oz, Ozma must uphold the laws and traditions of the land. She firmly enforces the "No Magic" law and has acted as the judge for more than one trial. She recognizes right and wrong easily and often makes decisions based on what is best for the land of Oz (when politics are involved) or her friends (when politics aren't involved).

True Neutral: Scraps the Patchwork Girl is the perfect example of a true neutral character. Like most true neutral characters, she leans towards being a good guy, but overall, she does whatever the fuck she wants. She doesn't really pay much attention to rules, manners, or conventions, and generally just goes with the flow. This also means that she doesn't act upon with conviction, which is also true, since she typically just does whatever looks like it's the most fun.

Chaotic Neutral: This alignment values independence and freedom, which is why I identified the Shaggy Man as chaotic neutral. As observed in both The Road to Oz and Tik-Tok of Oz, he typically tries to avoid listening to authority figures and often questions traditions. Whenever he does come across these situations, it's never on purpose. Since when we first meet him, he's a hobo, it's immediately established that the Shaggy Man isn't restricted by societal restrictions and is generally happy with doing whatever feels right.

Lawful Evil: The Wicked Witch of the West struck me as lawful evil, because while she had her goals in mind and wasn't afraid to hurt others to reach them, she still acknowledged the rules that had to be followed. She would threaten to beat Dorothy, but never did because of the protection mark on Dorothy's forehead; but that didn't stop her from making her do chores to make her miserable.

Neutral Evil: Mrs. Yoop is the perfect example of someone who gives zero fucks. She has her nice, cozy life and if she needs something, she transforms it, whether the thing she's transforming likes it or not. She has no qualms about hurting others or how her actions affect their lives; her own content is the only thing that is important. Plus, she thinks some of the transformations are funny and that it's fun to watch others suffer because of them.

Chaotic Evil: Ruggedo the Nome King aligns with chaotic evil because of his bad temper, destructive habits, and poorly organized plots. When he throws a temper tantrum (face it, that's what they are), he often throws things, often at the expense of long-suffering Kaliko (I'm glad he was made Nome King; he really deserved a promotion), and break things to let off steam. Even when he manages to work with someone or come up with a plan, it all falls apart quite quickly because he's not as smart as he thinks he is. He is so selfish and disorganized that he makes quite the comical villain as well as a failure of one.

These are my interpretations of the characters and their D&D alignments. If you disagree with any or all of them and have ideas of your own, please comment on this post! If you want to try aligning other Oz characters yourself, comment with your ideas, too! I'll include the link I used to help with the Alignment definitions so you can do your own research if you wish.

Catch ya later, you beautiful bastards!

The Alignment System
http://easydamus.com/alignment.html

Review: Live! The Wizard of Oz

Last week, I took a trip over the rainbow and unlike New Year's Eve this didn't involve edibles. Last Wednesday, my dad treated me by taking me to the Washington Performing Arts Center to see "Live! The Wizard of Oz". Some of you may already be familiar with the theater group that is currently touring the US and are putting on this production. I have Facebook friends from California to Kansas who have been abuzz with excitement to see this tour. Being more of a book fan and less of a movie fan (the movie irritates me to no end; the amount of cheer is almost Disney-level creepy), I was already expecting a movie-based production, however, my dad was the one who suggested this outing and he rarely likes going out without being asked first, and it's Oz after all (side note: my dad was the first to really encourage my Oz fanfic writings) so: To Oz!

I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, the songs were not as obnoxious as I remembered them from when I was a kid. I wasn't grinding my teeth at "We're Off to See the Wizard" or wanting to hang myself "Urban Legend Munchkin"-style during "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". They were actually borderline...delightful. Not only that, but I was even laugh at the jokes, especially during the Kansas scenes in the beginning. There's something about Dust Bowl/Great Depression era comedy that just made me smile.

What really excited me, though, were the times they deviated from the movie. I was internally going nuts because they had Tin Man telling his origin story from the Baum books (you know, the one with Nimmie Amee?). I remember that wasn't in the movie. I was like, "Fuck yeah! Someone read the goddamned books!"

Later, we get two nods to the movie. The deleted Jitterbug scene from the movie, as seen in this YouTube video:

The scene was even complete with the four main characters dancing with costumed Jitterbugs. It was a surreal scene.

Another deleted scene got a moment in the spotlight as well when Dorothy sang her reprise of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" at the Wicked Witch's castle. This scene had been originally edited out of the movie for being too sad (Hey Old Hollywood! Suck it up, you little bitch! You think that's sad? In "I Am Legend", the fucking dog dies! And in "Marley and Me", too! If you think that's sad, wait 100 years!). I get it's supposed to be sad, but sad enough to be left out of a movie? Maybe I'm just dead inside...meh.

What really impressed me were the costumes and the sets. In the Kansas scenes and for the cyclone, CGI projected backdrops were used so that you were more immersed into the scene. These weren't used as much in the Oz scenes, but  suppose because there was more going on in the foreground, you didn't need to get distracted by moving details in the background. The cyclone was the most unique display I've ever scene on a stage. The screen behind projected the back of the cyclone while a net-like cloth had the front projected on it and you could still see Dorothy and Toto inside. It was like the troop had created a miniature tornado on the stage that didn't mess up your hair.

The Oz scenes had a very surreal, dream-like feel, which makes sense, because they still followed the movie model where Dorothy's adventures were all just a dream. At one point, she tells her new friends that it felt like she had known them for a long time. Uh-huh...subtle.😏

The costumes held my attention as well because while they maintained the air of the movie and early 20th Century style, they had their own 21st Century twists. The Munchkins departed the furthest from the original design. Instead of bright, candy and flower-influenced townspeople garb, the Munchkins were dressed as anthropomorphic flowers. Munchkins were dressed as orchids, irises, roses, and lilies. As a side note, the Welcoming Committee dancers were dressed as three pink lilies, but I'm fairly certain that the design was somewhat based on Pink Diamond's outfit from "Steven Universe", which had some echoes of pink lily influence. The Emerald City citizens possessed a Decopunk quality to their attire and mannerisms. That's probably why I liked it: period clothing with a flair.

I walked into the theater a big skeptical, but I walked out with a spring in my step. My dad liked it, too! The play followed the movie that the public is more familiar with but managed to sneak in more book elements here and there as well as added a few surprises that they audience wasn't expecting. It actually made me want to watch the movie so I'm seeing it next Sunday when it's being shown in theaters.

If anyone has seen this production tour, please feel free to leave comments on your thoughts and opinions. Even if you're planning on seeing it, see it and come back later. I would love to hear what others have to say about this upgraded version.

Until then, later, bitches!

Oz After Midnight: Rule 34 and Oz

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Creepy-pastas About Oz

I work in an office where I spend most of my time in front of a computer inputting forms and checking facts, basically I perform a lot of tasks that don't require a lot of critical thinking. Though if you were to ask me if I was bored, I would say, "Hell no, I've discovered Spotify!" Turns out, Spotify has a fuck-ton of podcasts that I get to listen to while I work. How do you think I've had so much time to listen to The Chronicles of Oz (BTW, season 3 is in the works now. So excited!)? But in-between episodes, I've had to search for other fiction podcasts to listen to and as it turns out, creepy-pastas are quite popular on the podcast format.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the term or "genre" (I use this term loosely), creepy-pastas are horror stories that you can read on the Internet. Anyone can write a creepy-pasta and post it online on a forum (Reddit's No Sleep forum is quite popular and even became a podcast). You may be familiar with some creepy-pasta monsters such as Slender-man and Jeff the Killer. There are also popular legends that get their start online such as "The Russian Sleep Experiment", "Candle Cove" (this became the basis of season one of SyFy Channel's Channel Zero), and "Gateway of the Mind" (my very favorite). Basically, they are horror stories, but one common trait you tend to see is that they are often written as if they are true accounts. This is probably why a lot of people tend to confuse them for true stories (this is how figures like Slender-man become legends; also a lot of people think "The Russian Sleep Experiment" actually happened).

Return to "Return to Oz"

This brings us to this post. On the podcast Creepy, one of the stories was called: "Return to 'Return to Oz'". Naturally, this piqued my interest. It was a long story as well, longer than most of the stories presented on the podcast, but it was Oz-related. If was anything like the gory, serial killer My Little Pony fan-fiction, I was sure going to listen to it.

I was disappointed. It was this long-winded story about a guy who grew up in the 1990's in Cornwall and watched Return to Oz as a kid despite how much it scared him. I know that this movie scares a lot of people and were traumatized as kids when they watched it, but the protagonist of this story was an absolute pussy! He talked about how he was afraid of Mombi (understandable), Dorothy's house (really?), and even Jack Pumpkinhead. ARE YOU SHITTING ME? WHO IS AFRAID OF JACK PUMPKINHEAD? HE'S A CINNAMON ROLL AND LITERALLY ONE OF THE FEW CHARACTERS IN THE MOVIE WHO ISN'T CONSIDERED SCARY. GROW A FUCKING PAIR OF BALLS, DUDE! Seriously, he said he liked Tik-Tok but Jack-wouldn't hurt-a-fly-Pumpkinhead was too scary.

His summary of the movie was broken up with childhood memories that the movie reminded him of. Dorothy's house reminded him of the old house where the child molester in his neighborhood lived and later committed suicide; Mombi and her removable heads reminded him of when a classmate was decapitated by a truck in the street (creepy-pastas tend to be more gory than scary to me); then he keeps asking himself "Why do I keep thinking Dorothy drowned in the creek in the beginning of the movie?" until the end where it's revealed that he had a younger sister named Dorothy who drowned in the creek near their house and his guilt of not being able to save her has always haunted him.

Not only was it poorly organized and full of meandering asides, but it wasn't even a scary story and that is what a creepy-pasta is supposed to be: a scary story.

After listening to a 90 minute snore-fest (I listened to the whole thing because I was hoping for a big twist ending and because it was effective background noise to my work), I started thinking: I wonder if there are  any other Oz-themed creepy-pastas out there. So I googled and this is what I found:

Wizard of Oz: 1936 by JazzylovesIzzy

This creepy-pasta is about a person who collects Oz memorabilia and hears rumors about a version of the movie that came out three years before the official version. They finally find a video tape at a garage sale of an old man whose father worked for MGM. After they rush home and find an old VCR, they pop it in and watch it. The movie is full of swearing, a creepy-smiling Glinda, a Wicked Witch of the West with "Freddy Kruger gloves" and it ends with the Scarecrow getting set on fire, Tin Man having acid poured on him, the Lion torn to shreds in graphic detail by the flying monkeys, and Dorothy's organs getting eaten  by the Wicked Witch. The protagonist throws the tape away but next time they check the garbage to ensure it was still in there, it had disappeared.

Essentially, this is a "lost episode" creepy-pasta. "Lost episode" stories take beloved, real-life, childhood shows and movies and twists them into something gruesome and traumatizing. Stories like "Squidward's Suicide" and "Suicide Mouse" (a Mickey Mouse short that shows him going through Hell and his face melting off) have actual videos that you can watch online, but the stories attached to them are fake. According to the story of "Suicide Mouse", Walt Disney animated it and it was rediscovered when Disney employees were digitizing old cartoons and the first one to watch all eight minutes of it was a security guard who immediately shot himself in the head. The actual Mickey Mouse cartoon is real and you can watch it online, but it's safe to assume that Disney didn't create it and it was probably made by someone with good animation skills and twisted mind.

The Wizard of Oz Uncut by u/pacersnation16

This is similar to the last pasta but instead of fan-fic gore, it goes through all the rumors and scandals that everyone knows about the production of the 1939 film. The story talks about an "uncut" version of the movie that shows Dorothy getting slapped by the director after ruining the take with the Cowardly Lion, Buddy Ebsen getting suffocated by his makeup after the cameraman tampered with it, Margaret Hamilton being set on fire, and the infamous Munchkin hanging scene, but here, the narrator claims the version they saw showed the Munchkin being hung against their will. The movie ends with a shot of Judy Garland's dead body on floor after her overdose decades after The Wizard of Oz was made. The tape was so traumatizing to the narrator that they imply at the end that they are going to commit suicide (a lot of creepy-pastas end like this for some reason).

Clearly, this creepy-pasta was written more for shock-value than horror. The descriptions of actors being tortured offer somewhat of a horror quality, but overall, it is more Saw than Stephen King.

Honorable (or Horrible) Mention: The Hanging Munchkin by unknown

In my search for creepy-pastas, this seemed to pop up a lot. It's an irritating little urban legend that the Oz fandom has to put up with, along with the political allegory legend and "The Dark Side of the Rainbow". According to Snopes.com, the legend first emerged around the 50th Anniversary of the film in 1989 and someone made up a story about a heartbroken little person actor who hung them self on set and now you can see their dangling body in the background of the forest scenes with Dorothy and the Scarecrow. We now know that it wasn't a dead person hanging from a tree, but just a bird (though I've seen the freeze frame and it's such a blur that it could be anything like a misplaced prop or something). But despite this legend predating the Internet, it deserved a mention because the Internet has enabled it to spread and it appears to have spread mainly on creepy-pasta websites and forums.

Unless your curiosity is burning a hole into your brain, I don't recommend looking these up. I included the authors in case you wanted to as well as to give credit where credit is due, but these creepy-pastas aren't that entertaining unless you are a fan of Saw or The Purge. Personally, I prefer the psychological horror stories, so if you want to read good pastas I recommend: "Gateway to the Mind", "The Well to Hell", "Candle Cove", "The Russian Sleep Experiment", and "Burgrr Entries".

If you know of any good Oz-themed creepy-pastas, please tell me about them in the comments. I love stories, so I'd love to hear the Oz pastas you know! Until then, sweet dreams!

Review: This Point in Time: A Flight to Oz novella by JW Krych

We were left with more questions than answers at the end of Flight to Oz, Book II, but one of the most puzzling mysteries JW Krych left us with was on par with something along the lines of an Oz-themed conspiracy theory: how did Jonathan and Ozma enter orbit with one Bravo but return with a different one?

In Part Three of Book II: Anusha of Oz, Jonathan goes into orbit around the planet that Oz is a part of and he takes Ozma as his co-pilot. The mission went without a hitch for the most part and they even got to catch some zzz’s in Zero G. It wasn’t until they got back on the ground when they found some things out of the ordinary: it was weird enough that the ship’s computer recorded an hour of missing data; but not only did the Bravo’s clock read 15 years fast, it wasn’t even the same Bravo they had departed in! What happened on the mission? Leave it to Krych to give us a mind-blowing sci-fi twist in an Oz book.

This is where JW Krych’s brand-new novella comes in. This Point in Time recalls the events that unfurled during that missing time, and to confirm what you have all been hoping, it involves wormholes and time-travel.

In that time, the Bravo ends up getting sucked into a wormhole that spits them out back into orbit, but they’re not in Oz anymore…they’re above Jonathan’s Earth! As luck would have it, they are rescued by the crew of the ISASRV Golda Meir. Fans of the Flight to Oz series will recognize this as the name of the Israeli ship whom Jonathan and his crew had been good friends with in their pre-Ozian past.

They are taken to the Israeli moon base, Base Esther, where Jonathan is given the one-in-a-billion chance to catch up with old friends whom had feared he and the Haley crew had died after their disappearance. As for Ozma…she makes the acquaintance of Chatulah, the solemn, serious resident gardener with family secrets that the readers quickly link to Oz and Ozma!

Krych uses this novella as a way to dabble into other genres to tell a compelling Oz tale. Biblical fiction, historical fiction, and even traces of horror are all elements used to create this narrative and this genre-bending cocktail is mixed successfully. Krych continues the themes of feminism that L. Frank Baum once started by referencing Hebrew women from the Tanakh that anyone who is familiar with Judeo-Christian stories will know and invokes inspiration for Ozma and the audience. Visions of the Holocaust from Ozma’s nightmares are painted with vivid detail that offer a taste of how the most innocent of choice can have the direst of consequences.

Jonathan and Ozma are handed the opportunity to turn the guilt, fear, sorrow, and grief of others into closure and forgiveness as well as seek it for themselves. These strong emotions play into the greatest theme of the story. Even though the two characters pursue two separate plotlines, they aim for the same goals and find ways to form lasting bonds with old and new friends that extends beyond the barriers of time and space.

Instead of writing a “fun” novella to hold his readers down until the next comes out, he wrote a novella that continues the story that he started and will continue to connect us to past events and those yet to come. I know for one thing, this isn’t the last we’ll hear about the point in time Jonathan and Ozma visited. And as for the initial question asking about the Bravo; I’ll let you read that for yourself.