The Alignments of Oz

For you nerds (including myself) who have ever played Dungeons and Dragons, you may be familiar with the Alignment System. This is a system that determines a character's identity as good, evil, or neutral based on their attitudes and sense of morality. It also makes a fun tool to describe characters in fandoms and has been used (typically as a joke or gag) to describe the personalities of characters. Being chaotic good myself, I decided to take it upon myself to do this for a handful of the Oz characters. Check it!

Lawful Good: I classified the love of my life as lawful good based on his consistent attitude towards others. He often talks about how all living things need to be loved and treated with kindness and he practices what he preaches. Even though he is adept at using his ax as a tool and a weapon, he rarely uses it in a fight and when he does, it's to defend others. He values kindness and compassion as well as being honest with everyone, which makes him a perfect fit in this category. Those are also some of the qualities that I love most about him. Those and his ability to treat a lady well.😉

Neutral Good: What makes Glinda the Good neutral good is the fact that while she is powerful enough to run the show herself, she prefers to stand back and act as an advisor and mentor to Princess Ozma. She is rarely seen in the books, despite how much her freakin' powers would come in handy in a multitude of situations. She chooses to do good without bias and while she is officially a subject under Princess Ozma, she is still very independent and kinda does her own thing.

Chaotic Good: I'm sure I'm gonna get grief over this, but hear me out. I decided that the Scarecrow is chaotic good because while he sides with the good guys, he kinda does whatever the hell he wants. Like those of his alignment, he doesn't like bullies and tries to stand against up against them. He is a philosopher in his own right so he knows what his values are and how to uphold them.

Lawful Neutral: As the queen of Oz, Ozma must uphold the laws and traditions of the land. She firmly enforces the "No Magic" law and has acted as the judge for more than one trial. She recognizes right and wrong easily and often makes decisions based on what is best for the land of Oz (when politics are involved) or her friends (when politics aren't involved).

True Neutral: Scraps the Patchwork Girl is the perfect example of a true neutral character. Like most true neutral characters, she leans towards being a good guy, but overall, she does whatever the fuck she wants. She doesn't really pay much attention to rules, manners, or conventions, and generally just goes with the flow. This also means that she doesn't act upon with conviction, which is also true, since she typically just does whatever looks like it's the most fun.

Chaotic Neutral: This alignment values independence and freedom, which is why I identified the Shaggy Man as chaotic neutral. As observed in both The Road to Oz and Tik-Tok of Oz, he typically tries to avoid listening to authority figures and often questions traditions. Whenever he does come across these situations, it's never on purpose. Since when we first meet him, he's a hobo, it's immediately established that the Shaggy Man isn't restricted by societal restrictions and is generally happy with doing whatever feels right.

Lawful Evil: The Wicked Witch of the West struck me as lawful evil, because while she had her goals in mind and wasn't afraid to hurt others to reach them, she still acknowledged the rules that had to be followed. She would threaten to beat Dorothy, but never did because of the protection mark on Dorothy's forehead; but that didn't stop her from making her do chores to make her miserable.

Neutral Evil: Mrs. Yoop is the perfect example of someone who gives zero fucks. She has her nice, cozy life and if she needs something, she transforms it, whether the thing she's transforming likes it or not. She has no qualms about hurting others or how her actions affect their lives; her own content is the only thing that is important. Plus, she thinks some of the transformations are funny and that it's fun to watch others suffer because of them.

Chaotic Evil: Ruggedo the Nome King aligns with chaotic evil because of his bad temper, destructive habits, and poorly organized plots. When he throws a temper tantrum (face it, that's what they are), he often throws things, often at the expense of long-suffering Kaliko (I'm glad he was made Nome King; he really deserved a promotion), and break things to let off steam. Even when he manages to work with someone or come up with a plan, it all falls apart quite quickly because he's not as smart as he thinks he is. He is so selfish and disorganized that he makes quite the comical villain as well as a failure of one.

These are my interpretations of the characters and their D&D alignments. If you disagree with any or all of them and have ideas of your own, please comment on this post! If you want to try aligning other Oz characters yourself, comment with your ideas, too! I'll include the link I used to help with the Alignment definitions so you can do your own research if you wish.

Catch ya later, you beautiful bastards!

The Alignment System
http://easydamus.com/alignment.html

Review: Live! The Wizard of Oz

Last week, I took a trip over the rainbow and unlike New Year's Eve this didn't involve edibles. Last Wednesday, my dad treated me by taking me to the Washington Performing Arts Center to see "Live! The Wizard of Oz". Some of you may already be familiar with the theater group that is currently touring the US and are putting on this production. I have Facebook friends from California to Kansas who have been abuzz with excitement to see this tour. Being more of a book fan and less of a movie fan (the movie irritates me to no end; the amount of cheer is almost Disney-level creepy), I was already expecting a movie-based production, however, my dad was the one who suggested this outing and he rarely likes going out without being asked first, and it's Oz after all (side note: my dad was the first to really encourage my Oz fanfic writings) so: To Oz!

I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, the songs were not as obnoxious as I remembered them from when I was a kid. I wasn't grinding my teeth at "We're Off to See the Wizard" or wanting to hang myself "Urban Legend Munchkin"-style during "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". They were actually borderline...delightful. Not only that, but I was even laugh at the jokes, especially during the Kansas scenes in the beginning. There's something about Dust Bowl/Great Depression era comedy that just made me smile.

What really excited me, though, were the times they deviated from the movie. I was internally going nuts because they had Tin Man telling his origin story from the Baum books (you know, the one with Nimmie Amee?). I remember that wasn't in the movie. I was like, "Fuck yeah! Someone read the goddamned books!"

Later, we get two nods to the movie. The deleted Jitterbug scene from the movie, as seen in this YouTube video:

The scene was even complete with the four main characters dancing with costumed Jitterbugs. It was a surreal scene.

Another deleted scene got a moment in the spotlight as well when Dorothy sang her reprise of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" at the Wicked Witch's castle. This scene had been originally edited out of the movie for being too sad (Hey Old Hollywood! Suck it up, you little bitch! You think that's sad? In "I Am Legend", the fucking dog dies! And in "Marley and Me", too! If you think that's sad, wait 100 years!). I get it's supposed to be sad, but sad enough to be left out of a movie? Maybe I'm just dead inside...meh.

What really impressed me were the costumes and the sets. In the Kansas scenes and for the cyclone, CGI projected backdrops were used so that you were more immersed into the scene. These weren't used as much in the Oz scenes, but  suppose because there was more going on in the foreground, you didn't need to get distracted by moving details in the background. The cyclone was the most unique display I've ever scene on a stage. The screen behind projected the back of the cyclone while a net-like cloth had the front projected on it and you could still see Dorothy and Toto inside. It was like the troop had created a miniature tornado on the stage that didn't mess up your hair.

The Oz scenes had a very surreal, dream-like feel, which makes sense, because they still followed the movie model where Dorothy's adventures were all just a dream. At one point, she tells her new friends that it felt like she had known them for a long time. Uh-huh...subtle.😏

The costumes held my attention as well because while they maintained the air of the movie and early 20th Century style, they had their own 21st Century twists. The Munchkins departed the furthest from the original design. Instead of bright, candy and flower-influenced townspeople garb, the Munchkins were dressed as anthropomorphic flowers. Munchkins were dressed as orchids, irises, roses, and lilies. As a side note, the Welcoming Committee dancers were dressed as three pink lilies, but I'm fairly certain that the design was somewhat based on Pink Diamond's outfit from "Steven Universe", which had some echoes of pink lily influence. The Emerald City citizens possessed a Decopunk quality to their attire and mannerisms. That's probably why I liked it: period clothing with a flair.

I walked into the theater a big skeptical, but I walked out with a spring in my step. My dad liked it, too! The play followed the movie that the public is more familiar with but managed to sneak in more book elements here and there as well as added a few surprises that they audience wasn't expecting. It actually made me want to watch the movie so I'm seeing it next Sunday when it's being shown in theaters.

If anyone has seen this production tour, please feel free to leave comments on your thoughts and opinions. Even if you're planning on seeing it, see it and come back later. I would love to hear what others have to say about this upgraded version.

Until then, later, bitches!

Oz After Midnight: Rule 34 and Oz

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Creepy-pastas About Oz

I work in an office where I spend most of my time in front of a computer inputting forms and checking facts, basically I perform a lot of tasks that don't require a lot of critical thinking. Though if you were to ask me if I was bored, I would say, "Hell no, I've discovered Spotify!" Turns out, Spotify has a fuck-ton of podcasts that I get to listen to while I work. How do you think I've had so much time to listen to The Chronicles of Oz (BTW, season 3 is in the works now. So excited!)? But in-between episodes, I've had to search for other fiction podcasts to listen to and as it turns out, creepy-pastas are quite popular on the podcast format.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the term or "genre" (I use this term loosely), creepy-pastas are horror stories that you can read on the Internet. Anyone can write a creepy-pasta and post it online on a forum (Reddit's No Sleep forum is quite popular and even became a podcast). You may be familiar with some creepy-pasta monsters such as Slender-man and Jeff the Killer. There are also popular legends that get their start online such as "The Russian Sleep Experiment", "Candle Cove" (this became the basis of season one of SyFy Channel's Channel Zero), and "Gateway of the Mind" (my very favorite). Basically, they are horror stories, but one common trait you tend to see is that they are often written as if they are true accounts. This is probably why a lot of people tend to confuse them for true stories (this is how figures like Slender-man become legends; also a lot of people think "The Russian Sleep Experiment" actually happened).

Return to "Return to Oz"

This brings us to this post. On the podcast Creepy, one of the stories was called: "Return to 'Return to Oz'". Naturally, this piqued my interest. It was a long story as well, longer than most of the stories presented on the podcast, but it was Oz-related. If was anything like the gory, serial killer My Little Pony fan-fiction, I was sure going to listen to it.

I was disappointed. It was this long-winded story about a guy who grew up in the 1990's in Cornwall and watched Return to Oz as a kid despite how much it scared him. I know that this movie scares a lot of people and were traumatized as kids when they watched it, but the protagonist of this story was an absolute pussy! He talked about how he was afraid of Mombi (understandable), Dorothy's house (really?), and even Jack Pumpkinhead. ARE YOU SHITTING ME? WHO IS AFRAID OF JACK PUMPKINHEAD? HE'S A CINNAMON ROLL AND LITERALLY ONE OF THE FEW CHARACTERS IN THE MOVIE WHO ISN'T CONSIDERED SCARY. GROW A FUCKING PAIR OF BALLS, DUDE! Seriously, he said he liked Tik-Tok but Jack-wouldn't hurt-a-fly-Pumpkinhead was too scary.

His summary of the movie was broken up with childhood memories that the movie reminded him of. Dorothy's house reminded him of the old house where the child molester in his neighborhood lived and later committed suicide; Mombi and her removable heads reminded him of when a classmate was decapitated by a truck in the street (creepy-pastas tend to be more gory than scary to me); then he keeps asking himself "Why do I keep thinking Dorothy drowned in the creek in the beginning of the movie?" until the end where it's revealed that he had a younger sister named Dorothy who drowned in the creek near their house and his guilt of not being able to save her has always haunted him.

Not only was it poorly organized and full of meandering asides, but it wasn't even a scary story and that is what a creepy-pasta is supposed to be: a scary story.

After listening to a 90 minute snore-fest (I listened to the whole thing because I was hoping for a big twist ending and because it was effective background noise to my work), I started thinking: I wonder if there are  any other Oz-themed creepy-pastas out there. So I googled and this is what I found:

Wizard of Oz: 1936 by JazzylovesIzzy

This creepy-pasta is about a person who collects Oz memorabilia and hears rumors about a version of the movie that came out three years before the official version. They finally find a video tape at a garage sale of an old man whose father worked for MGM. After they rush home and find an old VCR, they pop it in and watch it. The movie is full of swearing, a creepy-smiling Glinda, a Wicked Witch of the West with "Freddy Kruger gloves" and it ends with the Scarecrow getting set on fire, Tin Man having acid poured on him, the Lion torn to shreds in graphic detail by the flying monkeys, and Dorothy's organs getting eaten  by the Wicked Witch. The protagonist throws the tape away but next time they check the garbage to ensure it was still in there, it had disappeared.

Essentially, this is a "lost episode" creepy-pasta. "Lost episode" stories take beloved, real-life, childhood shows and movies and twists them into something gruesome and traumatizing. Stories like "Squidward's Suicide" and "Suicide Mouse" (a Mickey Mouse short that shows him going through Hell and his face melting off) have actual videos that you can watch online, but the stories attached to them are fake. According to the story of "Suicide Mouse", Walt Disney animated it and it was rediscovered when Disney employees were digitizing old cartoons and the first one to watch all eight minutes of it was a security guard who immediately shot himself in the head. The actual Mickey Mouse cartoon is real and you can watch it online, but it's safe to assume that Disney didn't create it and it was probably made by someone with good animation skills and twisted mind.

The Wizard of Oz Uncut by u/pacersnation16

This is similar to the last pasta but instead of fan-fic gore, it goes through all the rumors and scandals that everyone knows about the production of the 1939 film. The story talks about an "uncut" version of the movie that shows Dorothy getting slapped by the director after ruining the take with the Cowardly Lion, Buddy Ebsen getting suffocated by his makeup after the cameraman tampered with it, Margaret Hamilton being set on fire, and the infamous Munchkin hanging scene, but here, the narrator claims the version they saw showed the Munchkin being hung against their will. The movie ends with a shot of Judy Garland's dead body on floor after her overdose decades after The Wizard of Oz was made. The tape was so traumatizing to the narrator that they imply at the end that they are going to commit suicide (a lot of creepy-pastas end like this for some reason).

Clearly, this creepy-pasta was written more for shock-value than horror. The descriptions of actors being tortured offer somewhat of a horror quality, but overall, it is more Saw than Stephen King.

Honorable (or Horrible) Mention: The Hanging Munchkin by unknown

In my search for creepy-pastas, this seemed to pop up a lot. It's an irritating little urban legend that the Oz fandom has to put up with, along with the political allegory legend and "The Dark Side of the Rainbow". According to Snopes.com, the legend first emerged around the 50th Anniversary of the film in 1989 and someone made up a story about a heartbroken little person actor who hung them self on set and now you can see their dangling body in the background of the forest scenes with Dorothy and the Scarecrow. We now know that it wasn't a dead person hanging from a tree, but just a bird (though I've seen the freeze frame and it's such a blur that it could be anything like a misplaced prop or something). But despite this legend predating the Internet, it deserved a mention because the Internet has enabled it to spread and it appears to have spread mainly on creepy-pasta websites and forums.

Unless your curiosity is burning a hole into your brain, I don't recommend looking these up. I included the authors in case you wanted to as well as to give credit where credit is due, but these creepy-pastas aren't that entertaining unless you are a fan of Saw or The Purge. Personally, I prefer the psychological horror stories, so if you want to read good pastas I recommend: "Gateway to the Mind", "The Well to Hell", "Candle Cove", "The Russian Sleep Experiment", and "Burgrr Entries".

If you know of any good Oz-themed creepy-pastas, please tell me about them in the comments. I love stories, so I'd love to hear the Oz pastas you know! Until then, sweet dreams!

Review: This Point in Time: A Flight to Oz novella by JW Krych

We were left with more questions than answers at the end of Flight to Oz, Book II, but one of the most puzzling mysteries JW Krych left us with was on par with something along the lines of an Oz-themed conspiracy theory: how did Jonathan and Ozma enter orbit with one Bravo but return with a different one?

In Part Three of Book II: Anusha of Oz, Jonathan goes into orbit around the planet that Oz is a part of and he takes Ozma as his co-pilot. The mission went without a hitch for the most part and they even got to catch some zzz’s in Zero G. It wasn’t until they got back on the ground when they found some things out of the ordinary: it was weird enough that the ship’s computer recorded an hour of missing data; but not only did the Bravo’s clock read 15 years fast, it wasn’t even the same Bravo they had departed in! What happened on the mission? Leave it to Krych to give us a mind-blowing sci-fi twist in an Oz book.

This is where JW Krych’s brand-new novella comes in. This Point in Time recalls the events that unfurled during that missing time, and to confirm what you have all been hoping, it involves wormholes and time-travel.

In that time, the Bravo ends up getting sucked into a wormhole that spits them out back into orbit, but they’re not in Oz anymore…they’re above Jonathan’s Earth! As luck would have it, they are rescued by the crew of the ISASRV Golda Meir. Fans of the Flight to Oz series will recognize this as the name of the Israeli ship whom Jonathan and his crew had been good friends with in their pre-Ozian past.

They are taken to the Israeli moon base, Base Esther, where Jonathan is given the one-in-a-billion chance to catch up with old friends whom had feared he and the Haley crew had died after their disappearance. As for Ozma…she makes the acquaintance of Chatulah, the solemn, serious resident gardener with family secrets that the readers quickly link to Oz and Ozma!

Krych uses this novella as a way to dabble into other genres to tell a compelling Oz tale. Biblical fiction, historical fiction, and even traces of horror are all elements used to create this narrative and this genre-bending cocktail is mixed successfully. Krych continues the themes of feminism that L. Frank Baum once started by referencing Hebrew women from the Tanakh that anyone who is familiar with Judeo-Christian stories will know and invokes inspiration for Ozma and the audience. Visions of the Holocaust from Ozma’s nightmares are painted with vivid detail that offer a taste of how the most innocent of choice can have the direst of consequences.

Jonathan and Ozma are handed the opportunity to turn the guilt, fear, sorrow, and grief of others into closure and forgiveness as well as seek it for themselves. These strong emotions play into the greatest theme of the story. Even though the two characters pursue two separate plotlines, they aim for the same goals and find ways to form lasting bonds with old and new friends that extends beyond the barriers of time and space.

Instead of writing a “fun” novella to hold his readers down until the next comes out, he wrote a novella that continues the story that he started and will continue to connect us to past events and those yet to come. I know for one thing, this isn’t the last we’ll hear about the point in time Jonathan and Ozma visited. And as for the initial question asking about the Bravo; I’ll let you read that for yourself.